PATCHWORK DETECTIVE AGENCY
NOVEMBER JOB APPLICATIONS
HR ONLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NAME [ENCODED]: OVARB EILRAHC

IDENTIFICATION NUMBER: [REDACTED]

STATEMENT OF PURPOSE: I would very much like to be a spy because James Bond was my favorite movie as a child. I think spies are very cool and get lots of dates. Also, they get to travel, and I assume it pays well.

SPECIAL SKILLS: juggling, imitating bird calls, soul cycling

NAME [ENCODED]: GZMTL RHZYVOV

IDENTIFICATION NUMBER: [REDACTED]

STATEMENT OF PURPOSE: My favorite aunt was a spy and I want to follow in her footsteps. I have been practicing since I was six years old. I can be either charming or intimidating depending on context.

SPECIAL SKILLS: watercolor landscapes, hockey, speaking Klingon

NAME [ENCODED]: THY VAPOR ORB

IDENTIFICATION NUMBER: [REDACTED]

STATEMENT OF PURPOSE: To be the best spy! I know I can really help people. And that’s what I want to do: to help people as a spy! I’m a hard worker and will never let you down.

SPECIAL SKILLS: tap dance, bonding with animals, preparing the perfect mashed potato