Dear Detective Alpha DJ:
I hope you’re having a great holiday. We are not. Your mother and I are very disappointed. You lost the Detective of the Year award again? I won that award every single year I was working at Patchwork! How am I supposed to show my face at the work reunions? We raised you to be the best spy - not the second best. What does Detective X have that you don’t have? Whatever it is, put those spy skills to use and get it! We’re sick of saying, “oh, Alpha works as a Detective, but is not the best, just middle of the pack” every time a neighbor asks how you’re doing. So step it up! Do whatever needs to be done to bring that trophy home!
Lots of love,
Your father